I Hate Costumes

After stopping at 2 stores looking for costumes I am through with Halloween and everyone better like what they got. I know....I know.... I should have started shopping sooner you say. I would have had better selection, yada, yada, yada.
Whatever. I hate costumes. Expensive, poorly made, itchy, ill-fitting, pieces of crap. But I'll play along.
I took requests from the kids and here is what I got:

Child #1: God love her, she is going to wear one of my old halloween costumes. She isn't trick or treating, but she is going to a party. She just wants something comfortable. I have a nice black velvet robe and she can be a vampire or whatever that makes you wanna be. Like this but without the slits in it.

Child #2: Wizard. She wouldn't give me another option. Here is what she got.

Child #3: Penguin, Cat, Magician, Pirate, and... if she has to be... a princess. Here is what she got.

Child #4: Black Spiderman. This is my only option. I had a really cute Peter Pan outfit my sister gave to me that would fit him- but Peter Pan is a sissy and he will not be seen in that. So, he got the Black Spiderman, albeit without the built-in muscles, because, well... muscles cost $10 more and I really didn't care that much.

Child #5: A queen or cereal. Really, both answers were bad. When I asked he was eating Cherrios and I had just finished trying to convince the girls to wear the princess outfits they had from last year. He is going to be Peter Pan and like it.

Husband: Anything that does not require makeup. Or a wig. So... because he really loves Elvis, and he thinks Elvis is still alive, and in all my love for him I agreed to be married by an Elvis in Las Vegas.... He got this. Along with a red cape.

Now I just have to figure out what I am going to do. I tried on this outfit.

It barely covered my ass. If it looks short in the picture- it may as well be a shirt. I'm brave, but that would have been obscene.
My friend suggested I tease my hair into the ultimate beehive and dress up as Priscilla... I can probably go there, I just need a good 70's outfit.


If you all have any ideas- let me know! And quick!!!!