Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A New Year and a New Way of Life

Well, it has been a hellava year. I guess when I start getting texts asking when I'm going to update my blog, it has been too long. Of course I had the usual holiday stuff going on... presents to buy, wrap, and hide... meals to cook... kids to entertain over long breaks from school... you know, the usual hectic chaos that accompany most holidays for most people. I also have been taking two electives for school on a modified schedule meaning each class only meets 6 times and then you have a final exam. I took one exam last week, and I think it went pretty well. I have another exam next week, and I am really worried about how this will go. The good news there is... its a take home test. Good... you can use any resources you have to answer the questions. Bad... the questions are usually harder on a take home. So, I expect to spend my weekend hashing out answers and questioning whether I really learned anything.

The other big news is....

My husband and I have split up. Yes, you read it right. The complaint has been filed for the big "D" and we are in the 'waiting stages'. I know, I know... none of you would have expected that. I'm not going to say too much except that things are amicable, the kids are well cared for, and I thoroughly expect everything to turn out okay in the end. Sure its sad sometimes. But every end is also a beginning. We are the best of friends, but we have grown apart. I guess those things happen sometimes. I have gotten a lot of flack from some friends and/or family. Let me just say, we feel like we did everything we could. I am not going to sit and second guess the decisions now. We have made some untraditional compromises for the sake of the children. People don't understand the choices, they don't understand my choices, and I am sick of defending myself. I am prepared to be happy. End of story.

Part of why I haven't been around is I was trying to decide how to tell you all what has been going on. I had to get my head around some things before I could write about them. I've also had limited internet at my temporary abode. I debated whether to say anything at all, but I think I've shared plenty of other personal stuff and it would be unfair not to include one of the biggest things that probably ever happens to a person. Mostly, I don't want any sympathy. I don't want to hear I'm sorry, and don't ask me if I'm okay. I am sorry sometimes too, and I am, and will be, fine.

All that said... Lets make this a great new year. And if nothing else, at least I know when I don't have a friend here to talk to I always have all of you. Thank you for that.

19 comments:

Liam said...

Well I'll certainly light a candle for you... and if you need an ear to bend... you know where to find me...

kel said...

I wish you lot of luck on your new journey. Keep us posted, you won't be judged here. None of us are living your life, and you and you partner have the right to make your own decisions. I think its great that you are staying friends. You are setting a good example for your kids!

Mary Moore said...

I have a lot of friends going through this same thing right now. And no one can or should judge you. Based on what? They know nothing about your situation.

Go for it, and all the best with new beginnings.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Good for you guys for figuring out a good solution.

I'm a big believer in live and let live, walk a mile in their shoes, etc.

You will only find support from me.

Happy New Year!!

Eudea-Mamia said...

P.S. Welcome back!!! You were missed.

Victoria Von Swarovski said...

I am sorry you are going through that, but millions of people out there are doing it and you're strong and you're going to be A-Okay.
I wish you luck in the future.

LegalMist said...

Welcome back to blogland. We've missed you.

I'm glad you and your soon-to-be-ex have worked things out in a way that makes you both, if not happy, at least reasonably satisfied. It is so much better for the kids to have parents who at least try to work together, instead of spending 10-20 years, and thousands and thousands of dollars, litigating every little disagreement. Kudos to you both.

And best wishes to you in your "new life."

Tenakim said...

glad to see you're back- WOW, big news. Good for you! Hope everything feels right! Don't worry- no judging here!

Lipstick said...

Hey Legal Diva....glad you're back! I am sorry to "read" the news...Mr. Lipstick told me a while ago. You are right though-all of y'all are going to be just fine.

Good luck on the take-home test!

King of New York Hacks said...

You will be fine, and so will everyone involved because you take the bull by the horns and make it so. Keep on doing what your doing , its called kicking ass in life....and yes , thats when we grow apart from people but are always able to move on as karma leads us to your next destination. Best of luck, sending you honks from times square,

Edward KONYH !!!

Mrs4444 said...

I'm sure you know what you're doing. I'm happy for your kids; that yours and your husband's attitudes will help make this a bit easier. May the New Year be filled with promise. (Jeez, I sound like President Obama!)

Twisted Lisa said...

wow, I was surprised. But, it happens. A lot of times when one person starts to realize what they want out of life, the other just stagnates. I am not saying that is what happened to you, it's what happened to me.
Email me if you want to talk to someone else recently divorced (2004)
legalblogger at gmail

Anonymous said...

no sympathy from your paramour

habituated to hindrances said...

oh and btw, paramour blog:
http://recountingridiculousretrospections.blogspot.com/

LegalMist said...

Hey, I've given you a "Premio Dardos" award -- check it out here if you would like to accept the award:

http://legalmist.blogspot.com/2009/01/another-fine-award.html

Tami said...

Just thinking about you - hope all is well :)

LegalMist said...

I've been missing you here in the blogosphere.

I hope you are well.

Come back soon...

Eudae-Mamia said...

Hope things are going well...Em

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